The True Ending for Harry Potter 6
by insanelymadferret
Summary: I hated how they killed off Dumbledore so I put in my own...erm interesting...spin on how I thought it should have ended. Should give you a laugh. Enjoy! Accio Story!


The True Ending for Harry Potter 6

Chapter Thirty

All lessons were suspended, all examinations postponed. Some students were hurried away from Hogwarts over the next couple of days- The Patil twins were gone before breakfast on the morning following Dumbledore's death, and Zacharias Smith was escorted from the castle by his haughty looking father. Seamus Finnigan, on the other hand, refused point-blank to accompany his mother home. Harry had never felt so empty, Hermonie cried all night, and Ron wasn't eating.

The day of the funeral finally arrived, it was a somber time. It would have all been very peaceful had not Hagrid brought the giant Grawp with him- he nearly crushed Professor Flitwick. When all was assembled; Harry was infuriated to see Doloros Umbridge, how could she show her face here and looking so smug on a day like this! Four tiny house elves carried Dumbledore's coffin and laid in on a table at the front of the assembly. Hermonie started crying again. It was a beautiful funeral.

Professor McGonagall was saying a few words tribute to Dumbledore, "One of the kindest, maturest, and wonderful wizards of our age. Dumbledore will surely be missed…"

Then all of the sudden with a loud, "BANG!" the lid few off the coffin. "What in the name of…" McGonagall began.

"APRIL FOOLS!!" shouted Albus Dumbledore.

Everyone gasped, then gasped again as Snape emerged from the crowd laughing, "Good One Buddy!" Then they proceeded to do their secret handshake.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!" shouted Mcgonagal drawing her wand.

"Now Professor McGonagall," Dumbledore began "It was just a joke…"

"_Avada Kedbra!!_" shouted Mcgonagal

"Run!!" shouted Snape

Snape and Dumbledore ran off down the School grounds with McGonagall close behind them, leaving everyone else looking bewildered. "What now…?" said Ron

Just then Neville's toad, Trevor jumped off his lap and began morphing before everyone's eyes… "MUHWAHAHA!" shouted a cold scream from Harry's nightmares…

"It's lord Voldemort!!" shouted Hermonie "He's an unregistered animagus!"

"It's the end of the book so I have come to kill you Harry, RAWR." said Voldemort.

"Oh no you don't!' cried Neville "_Avada Kedbra!_" This would have worked, had Neville not been holding his wand the wrong way. The spell hit Harry instead.

"Well that was easy…" said Voldemort

"No!" shouted Cho running from the crowd. And she began giving him mouth to mouth. Of course Ginny didn't like this, and used the _Infernio _curse to set her skirt on fire.

"Hey!" shouted Cho "He's MINE!"

"Not with me around!" shouted Ginny. And they began to duel.

"Yay!" shouted Seamus "Cat Fight!"

As people gathered around to watch, Voldemort sold popcorn and nachos, unnoticed was the quivering rage Umbridge displayed as she ran up to Neville.

"You, have harmed Harry Potter!!" she shouted.

"Hungh?" said Neville

Moments later a robotic head flew off Umbridge's Body. There in a mechanical suit was the delusional Dobby with a fire in his eyes…

"NOW YOU WILL PAY!!" he shouted in a voice that sounded possessed.

Dobby jumped on top of Neville and proceded to try and pull his head off.

"IDIOT BOY KILLED MY BELOVED HARRY POTTER!! IDIOT BOY MUST PAY!!" cried Dobby

"Don't hurt him!" shouted Hermonie "House elves are so abused! He's just witnessed a tragedy!"

Ron stared blankly at Hermonie as Dobby rammed Neville's head into the ground over and over again. "Your nuts." He said.

"So are you!" shouted Hermonie

Ron shrugged then kissed her. They stood there with each other ascurses flew all around them.

"Where'd that come from?" said Hagrid, as he walked over to talk with Madame Maxime.

Ginny had used the impervious curse on Cho and was forcing her to do the dance moves from Michael Jaxon's Thriller. Cho broke the curse and used _Impendemente _on Ginny.

Dumbledore and Snape ran back into the scene followed by Professor McGonagall. She kept on using _Stupefy _and hitting everyone but Dumbledore and Snape. Civilians flew everywhere.

"Out of my way!!" She cried

"It was only a joke!" shouted Dumbledore

Voldemort, though happy to have finally killed Harry Potter, grew tired of selling Nachos. He took out a magic 8 ball.

"Who should I kill next?"

The ball read "Ennie meenie minee moe…"

"Okay." said Voldemort He began to spin around with his wand out yelling, "My mother picked the very best one and you are it!"

He opened his eyes and found himself pointing at Gilderoy Lockhart. Lockhart was observing the grass searching for four leaf clovers.

"Perfect!" yelled lord Voldemort "And I can use a clover to make another Horcrux! Yay!"

However, Lavender Brown, who had always liked Lockhart, dived in front of him before Voldemort could kill him, taking the curse and leaving Lockhart with a lightning shaped scar on his head.

"Rats!" said Voldemort "Not again!"

Mcgonagal, still furious, finally hit Snape with a stunning spell.

"_Sectumsempra!_" she yelled cutting off all of Snape's greasy hair. "I've been dying to do that for years Severus! No amount of shampoo potion could clear up your mess!"

"No!" yelled Snape trying to regrow his hair "It's cursed off! I'll be bald forever!"

"Muhwahaha!" yelled McGonagall "As for you Dumbledore…"

"You'll never catch me!" yelled Dumbledore laughing "I work out old lady!"

"Oh yeah?" said McGonagall, displeased at being called an old lady "_Accio!_"

Dumbledore flew towards her screaming, "She's mad! Help Me!"

McGonagall smiled as she raised her wand, "_Fillius!_"

"Not the tickleing charm!" yelled Dumbledore

Meanwhile Dobby had attached Neville to a Filibuster rocket.

"IDIOT BOY! HARMED BELOVED HARRY POTTER! PAY!" yelled the possesed Dobby

"Hermonie! Help me!" yelled Neville

Hermonie and Ron were still kissing, oblivious to everything around them.

"Eat Slugs!" yelled Neville pointing his wand at Ron

Instantly Ron threw up slugs in Hermione's mouth, why Neville didn't simply stun Dobby instead of calling Hermonie the world will never know.

"What is it Neville?" said Hermonie finally back to earth

Dobby lit a magical match and began counting down, "10, 9, 8, 7-"

"Isn't it OBVIOUS?!" yelled Neville

Hermonie began to try and reason with the elf while Ron threw up more slugs.

"HE HAS KILLED BELOVED HARRY POTTER!" yelled Dobby "NOW HE MUST PAY!"

"But Dobby," said Hermonie "Harry isn't dead."

"Harry Potter not dead?" said Dobby looking up mystified

"No, of course not! He's the main character! What would we call the series? Gildroy Lockheart and the Deathly Hallows?"

Dobby began dancing. "Beloved Harry Potter ALIVE!"

"Then how do we revive him?" said Ron finished puking.

"The horn of the rumplehorned snorcack" said Hermonie

"Great…" said Ron

Ginny and Cho were still fighting over who got to do CPR on Harry's body.

"_Langlock!_" shouted Ginny choking Cho with her own tongue

After choking and sputtering Cho came up with a "_Reducio!_"

Ginny became the size of one of those midgets from Munchkin land.

"_Perfectus Totalatis!_" yelled tiny Ginny

Cho was unable to move, in a full body bind curse.

"_Wingardium Leviosa!_" yelled a triumphant feeling Ginny

She flung Cho onto the back of a passing Therestral, carrying her to who knows where.

Ginny, smiling to herself, yet still micro began to walk towards Harry. Unfortunatly, being so small, Professor McGonagall stepped on her while continuing her tickling charm on Dumbledore.

"Ohhh-hehahahaha!!" screamed Dumbledore rolling on the floor, tears streaming from his face. "Make it stop! Make it stop! Hahahahahahaha!"

McGonagall had a look of sick pleasure on her face. She did not notice the little smudge that was Ginny stuck (much like gum) on the bottom of her shoe.

"Mmmmmmm! Mmmmmmmm!" cried Ginny trying to get free.

Meanwhile Voldemort is trying to reason the best way to destroy Gildroy Lockhart, Lockhart is still looking for a four leaf clover.

"Oh, great magic eight ball!" cried Lord Voldemort "What must I do to destroy this fiend?"

The magic 8 ball read, "Beats me."

"Stupid piece of…! _Reducto!_" Voldemort shouted destroying the magic eight ball.

"I'll have to figure this out by myself…"

Ron and Hermonie were discussing where they might possibly find the horn of the crumple horned snorslack.

"Well Snape's got all sorts of ingredients in his office, lets check there." said Ron

So Ron, Hermonie, and overjoyed Dobby headed up the stairs of Hogwarts castle. None of them noticed Neville, still attached to the filibuster Rocket.

"Uhhhh, guys?" said Neville "Guys?" The wick was still burning. Neville began blowing, trying to put out the flame.

On their way to Snape's classroom, out popped the increasingly and continuously annoying wail of Moaning Myrtle. "WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What's wrong with her?" said Ron

His question was soon answered by a gleeful voice, "Moaning Myrtle in her potty! Crying till her nose is snotty!" It was Peeves, cackling and throwing dungbombs.

"Leave me alone!" shouted Myrtle "Everyone hates me!"

Peeves blew a raspberry, then shot spitballs through a straw at Myrtle.

"UGH! Boys…" said Hermonie

"Hey!" said Ron

Myrtle began to grow angry, a fire in her eyes that is so often seen in females.

"Sssssefta sempirum…" she said in a sick voice that sounded like a balloon loosing air. Suddenly a basilisk emerged from Myrtles' toilet. "Kill." She said in parsletounge.

"Ha! I'm a ghost! Already dead!" shouted Peeves. And he began blowing spitballs through Myrtle at the snake.

Just then Lockhart flew through the window (Voldemort had been trying to throw him into the womping willow) and landed on top of the basilisk.

"Wow that was fun!" he exclaimed "Now where am I? And who are you? Is this a ride? Like a pony?"

The basilisk spit with rage and turned towards Lockhart.

"He'll be paralyzed!" shouted Hermione

"I know! Awesome!" shouted Ron

Hermonie rolled her eyes and threw Lockhart some sunglasses to protect him.

"Aw, come on!" yelled Ron

Myrtle was trying to reason how to use her pet snake against Peeves, she then called upon ghastly toilet paper to entrap him, then ordered the basilisk to "_Ensnare_"

The snake paralyzed Peeves with its piercing gaze and slowly slithered towards him. Unfortunately for Lockhart, he had fallen off and was in the beast's way. All might have been lost had it not been for…

"Oh daddy, is that a wingdaddle wampobaloo?"

…Luna Lovegood and her father riding in on a mountain troll.

"I do believe it is!" yelled Mr. Lovegood "Ride on Cubert!'

The enormous mountain troll (whom Hagrid had smuggled in and taught table manners, than sold to Mr. Lovegood on the insistence that it was a Finglehopper) leaped forward and grabbed the snake, then carried it off. Myrtle just floated there bewildered. However she realized, Peeves being paralyzed, that her troubles were all gone and went to see Lavander Brown (who was now a ghost) and go over to Casper's.

Ron and Hermonie glanced at each other, then headed for the dungeon, followed by Dobby and Lockheart.

"What are we doing?" asked Lockhart

"Saving beloved Harry Potter!" said Dobby

Outside Neville is still trying to free himself from that Filibuster rocket, the flame caused by Dobby's magic is finally out, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was close."

When up walked Fred and George.

"Hello Neville, enjoying yourself?" said Fred

"He seems to be in a predicament, doesn't he?" said George

"Guys get me off this thing! Help!" cried Neville

But Fred and George had other ideas, they decorated Neville with green face paint and put a large black cape over him, then took out their wands and made sparks in a gleeful fashion.

"Ready Fred?"

"When you are George."

"GUYS?!" shouted Neville

"Better gag him." said Fred

"Couldn't be happier to" said George

And they stuffed a large plush shaped like Dolorus Umbridge down his throat, it could faintly be heard saying things like, "I make Dumbledore look young again!" or "My underarms are hairier than Hagrid's butt cheeks!"

"Catchy ain't it?" said Fred

"Our latest invention!" said George

Neville was struggling and his voice sounded muffled.

"Help me!" he shouted

"Set you free?" said George "Okay if that's what you want Neville…Fire Fred!"

"Honored" said Fred, shooting him off.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Neville into the plush toy

Everyone stopped and looked up at the giant fire ball whizzing over them as Fred yelled into a magical microphone,

"I am Lord Voldemort! I have come to kill you all! MUHWAHAHAHA!"

The Weasley twins sniggered while people screamed and ran in all directions and the hooded Neville flew over them, struggling to get free. The filibuster rocket swooped and swerved, scattering terrified wizards. Neville gave squeals of horror people took for howls of rage.

"RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" squeaked the tiny Professor Flitwig

McGonagall released Dumbledore.

"You've got to stop him!" she cried

"I've got it!" yelled Dumbledore "_Accio_ Sniper Rifle!"

A Sniper Rifle flew out of nowhere. Dumbledore picked it up and carefully aligned the flying Voldemort with the scope. Sweat poured from his face as he concentrated. He took a deep breath and pulled the trigger. There was a swish, a click, and then nothing happened.

"You idiot!" shouted McGonagall "Muggle weapons don't work inside Hogwarts! It's bewitched!"

"Oops, my bad." Dumbledore slapped a sticker on it that said "Magical", realigned the weapon, and pulled the trigger (again).

A roar swept through the crowd as a killing curse, bewitched bullet went right past Neville's head (he fainted) and went on out of sight.

"Oops, I hope no one get's hit by that." said Dumbledore

Meanwhile President John Kennedy is riding through Texas in his new limousine.

"Pikachu! Use thundershock!"

"Honey put that gameboy away! You're supposed to be waving to the American public!" cried Mrs. Kennedy

"But if I turn it off Pikachu will go back to level one!"

Suddenly Dumbledore's bullet rushed out of no where.

"UGH!" said the President as he toppled over

"Mr. President? Mr. President?"

"The shot sounded like it came from over there!"

"There _he_ did it!"

"Who me?" said Mr. Oswald

"Take him away!"

Back at Hogwarts; Ron, Hermione, Dobby, and Lockheart were almost up to the dark arts classroom.

"Just a few more steps." groaned Ron

"Oh stop whining, Weasly" said a voice

"You're not my mother, Hermione" said Ron

"I didn't say that."

They turned around to see a smug looking blonde boy walking towards them.

"Malfoy!" shouted Ron

"I cannot allow you to revive Potter" said Malfoy "Prepare to die."

"You and what army?" said Ron

"I need none, I am a death eater! I shall easily defeat you and your pathetic mudblood friend!"

Crabbe and Goyle walked up from behind him and "Ughed" in agreement.

Dobby was the first to move.

"YOU SHALL NOT HARM HARRY POTTER! HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

And he somersaulted forward with a spinning backwards sidekick.

Malfoy jumped out of the way, but Goyle was too stupid to move. Dobby began screaming and hitting him with a frying pan he pulled out of his loincloth.

Hermione took advantage of the distraction to use a stunning spell on Malfoy.

"_Stupefy!_" she yelled

Malfoy blocked it, "Is that all you got Granger? _Incendio!_"

Cursed fire flew out of his wand.

"_Augamenti!_" said Ron coming to her aid.

Crabbe was attempting to get Dobby off of his friend. He was rather foolish in doing this but, as he is about as bright as a baboon's backside, this comes as no surprise.

"UGHHHHH!" he yelled as Dobby picked him up using elfin magic and rammed him into the chandeliers, making him do cartwheels in mid air.

Malfoy has succeeded in putting a body bind curse on Hermione and now is jeering at Ron. "Nice rags Weasley, what are they Garbage bags? The only thing less classy than them is your girlfriend!"

Ron turned scarlet, almost the same shade as his hair. "_Accio _Underwear!" he roared at Malfoy.

Malfoy was instantly put into an atomic wedgie and Ron gleefully attempted to hang him from the ceiling.

"WEASLY! PUT ME DOWN WEASLY!" yelled Malfoy

Ron sniggered.

The foursome skipped off happily after this (especially Ron), leaving Malfoy hanging from his underwear and doing rude hand gestures, Crabbe spinning, and Goyle knocked out on the floor.

Outside, Fred and George's fake Voldemort (aka Neville) was continuing to wreak havoc all over the Hogwarts grounds. They had bewitched it now to shoot out green fireworks, which most people took for killing curses. It (or he, I don't know exactly what you call a bewitched Neville/Voldemort Rocket, do you?) was also yelling loud, fake curses to scare people (Impedi-mentos, Expectopatro-nads, Sectum-simba, etc). The Weasley twins obviously thought this was very funny, but there was one person (in particular) who didn't.

Lord Voldemort looked up in the sky and gasped.

"What is this?" he said in his most evil voice "_Two_ Lord Voldemorts? There cannot be _two _Lord Voldemorts! But only one. I! The all powerful, indestructible LORD VOLDEMORT!!" ( He said this last part with his best big, booming voice. But all he got was an awkward silence followed by crickets)

"Cursed crickets and their chirping… I shall deal with this _imposter_,this _second_ Voldermort." He looked up at the sky his red pupils dilating with hatred at Neville.

Ron, Hermione, Lockhart, and Dobby arrived in the spare room where Snape kept his ingredients.

"This place is huge!" said Ron, his voice echoing off the walls of the large room. "It'll take hours! Years! We'll never find…"

"_Accio _Horn" said Hermione

"Oh well…" said Ron, looking sheepish as the horn floated over to Hermione.

"Come on!" said Hermione, rolling her eyes. "Let's go! We've got to save Harry!"

And they hurried out to the grounds.

Ginny was feeling rather uncomfortable, being stuck to the bottom of McGonagall's shoe. Every attempt to free herself was (in a matter of speaking) "squashed" with Minerva's every step. She felt the charm beginning to wear off however, as she was now a rather larger smudge.

"Only a little more…" mmphed Ginny

And sure enough, a few seconds later, with a _pop _she was free.

"Finally!" she cried, as she grew back to regular size. "And now to help Harry!"

She spotted his body right where she left it, quiet trampled in all the confusion. And here came Ron and Hermione, followed by some pansy and a rat-looking thing.

"Oi!" she cried and ran to help.

"Lord Voldemort slowly stalked his prey, his black heart hammering against his chest and his ice cold blood rushing through his veins as they surged with Adrenaline… Slowly, ever so slowly he glided like a hawk…"

"No, no, no" said Voldemort "Hawk doesn't go right there, you know I cannot work without a good commentary, Wormtail. Any more mishaps like that and I will have to curse you…"

"Sorry master! I'll do better!" squeaked Wormtail "Umm…and he glided, light as air, to his unsuspecting prey…"

"Yes Wormtail that's very good." happily replied Voldemort.

Voldemort drew his white-grey wand as he soared to meet this _unknown_, this horrible _second_ Voldemort.

"_Avada Kedbra_!" he cried, shooting down the rocket.

This is the wonderful time whence Neville woke up from fainting, bleary eyed and sleepy. _Where am I?_ he wondered _Curious…it almost feels like I'm…_

"FALLING?!" he screamed, as he spit the plush toy out. "SOMEONE HELP ME!"

"MUHWAHAHAHA!" laughed Voldemort

"Ron quick! Revive Harry!" shouted Hermione

"How?!" shouted Ron

"Stab him with the horn!"

"Okay!"

_Thud_

And now Harry is bleeding profusely all over the ground.

"Perhaps he was supposed to _eat_ the horn…"

"HERMOINE!!"

"Quick! Down his throat!"

Ron shoved the large horn down Harry's throat. Slowly, Harry began to stir…

"Where am I? Why is there a big hole in my chest?"

"Oh Harry!" yelled Hermione and she jumped on top of him.

"HEY!" shouted Ginny

Ginny pulled Hermione off Harry and hit her with a curse that made her grow large pimples all over her face.

"Get off her!" roared Ron

And the three of them went off cursing and hexing each other.

"What's that about?" said Harry

Voldemort slowly approached Neville, who was on the ground whimpering with fear.

"Prepare to die…" he hissed

All seemed lost, but out of the darkness came a shout of hope.

"Leave him alone Tom."

Dumbledore pushed aside Neville and strode up to Voldemort.

"So we meet again Buzz Lightyear. For the last time!"

"Wrong movie, Wormtail!" hissed Voldemort

"Sorry Master!"

"You have met your match, old man." hissed Voldemort to Dumbledore

"Have I, Voldey-wart?"

"Yes you have, Dumble-butt!"

"Do you use shoe shiner on that head of yours?"

"How's the food back at the nursing home?"

They both stood there looking very angry at each other.

"And you could cut the tension with a knife folks. The all powerful supreme Lord Voldemort is going in for the kill on that old bat, Dumbledore. They both draw wands and…" Pettigrew commentated

"Who you calling an old bat?" yelled Dumbledore stunning him

Their wands were a blur of movement, faster than the beat of a humming bird's wing. Voldemort did this whirling motion and created a kind of fiery vortex. Everyone was very afraid until Dumbledore turned it into a large swimming pool complete with hot tub and spa with a simple flick. Dumbledore then conjured large bags of badly flavored Bertie Bot's Every Flavor Beans and chucked them at Voldemort. The Dark lord was pelted by Ear wax and Wet dog flavors, making him slightly greener than normal.

"Ack! You crackpot fool!"

"Ha! Fool am I…Argh!"

Dumbledore threw out his back.

Dobby and Harry are currently trying to stop their friends from cursing the dungbombs out of each other.

"Sir and Misses must not be fighting! You be upsetting Harry Potter!"

Hermione and Ginny were posed to stun each other.

"Quick Dobby! Stop them!"

"How, Harry Potter sir?"

"I dunno…use Lockhart!"

And so Dobby threw the prancing Lockhart between them. He was hit by both spells and came out looking quite dazed

"_Perfectus Totalatis!_" yelled Harry putting all three in a full body bind. "Will you lot calm down?!" yelled Harry, breathing very hard.

"No Professor McGonagall , I have never seen Moody in a mini skirt." dreamily sang Lockhart, who looked quite lost and was laughing girlishly.

Slowly Harry released his friends. Ginny still looked furious, however; and silently mouthed the word "MINE" behind Harry's back to Hermione.

"Come on Dumbledore's in trouble!"

And indeed he was. Dumbledore, who in his age had contracted a bad back and alzheimers, was hanging upside down by Voldemort, being tortured by another tickling curse.

"Ohh-he-he! HAHAHAHA!" cried Dumbledore "MAKE IT STOP! HAHAHAHAHA! MAKE IT STO-HAHAHAHA!"

"We've got to save him!" yelled Hermione

"I'll do it!" yelled Ron

He pointed his wand dramatically at Voldemort.

"_ACCIO_ UNDERWEAR!" he cried

Nothing happened.

"Uhh awkward…" said Hermione

"What? I like a nice breeze." said Voldemort

"It's time to end this, Riddle"

"Harry Potter?!" screeched Voldemort "That's not fair! I killed you already!"

"Get him Harry!" giggled Dumbledore

"A fight to the death!" yelled Voldemort

"Ugh, why can't we just have a Guitar Hero battle like normal people?"

"Because I am evil! MUHWAHAHAHA!"

"Whatever…"

"On three then?"

"I guess so."

"1…2…"

Suddenly Neville jumped up out of nowhere.

"_Abra Kedbra!_"

"_Abra Kedbra? _What the crap is _ABRA Kedbra_?"

"Neville No!" screamed Hermione

But it was too late…Neville had uttered the doomsday curse. The sky turned pitch black and green fireballs erupted from the ground.

"NEVILLE! YOU IDIOT!!"

"What? What I do?"

"The curse that wiped out the Dinosaurs and nearly all human life on earth!"

"Oops…"

"Take cover!"

Horrific images filled the air. Men running without heads. Shapeless monsters terrorizing towns. McGonagall in a bikini. All our heroes ran inside Hagrid's hut for shelter.

"How do we stop it?" cried Ron

"Human Sacrifice?" yelled Voldemort

"I vote Neville!" shouted Ron

"No, no, no!" yelled Hermione over it all "That will just feed the curse! Dumbledore? Any ideas?"

"Someone must travel into the heart of the storm and strike it with this!"

He held up a straight brown object.

"A stick?" said Ron

"No fool! It is…oops that _is_ a stick…wrong pocket…"

He rifled through his robes for a few minutes.

"AHA!"

He held up a larger brown object.

"Another stick?" said Ron

"No fool! The Elder Wand!"

Everyone "Ohhhhhed"

"Mine!" yelled Voldemort grabbing it.

"Hey give that back!"

Voldemort and Dumbledore starting playing tug-a-war with the Elder wand.

"MINE!"

"MINE!"

_Snap_

"…"

"…Look what you did!"

"Me? ARGH!"

And they started wrestling on the ground.

"What now?" groaned Ron

"I guess will just have to tape them back together and go as is." said Hermione

So Ron, Harry, and Hermione traveled together out into the great curse.

The heat was more intense than a thousand furnaces, the images more horrible than a life sentence to Azkaban. The three felt like they were on fire.

"Argh!" yelled Ron under the intense pain of it.

"We've got to keep going!" yelled Hermione

Farther and farther they trudged on, the fire singeing their eyebrows and the horrific images boring into their minds. Green clouds bore up, they couldn't see. Everything seemed to be suffocating them.

They trudged past the Forbidden forest, past Lockhart (who, even in all my horrible description, remains prancing like an Idiot), and past the Whomping Willow.

"We're almost there!"

They heaved and pushed, pushed and heaved, heaved and…oh this is getting boring. Fast Forward!

3 hours later…

With a surge of Determination, they climbed Mt. Everest, only to realize that they had went the wrong way and… UGH! FORWARD!

5 hours later…

Heaved and pushed, pushed and heaved, heaved and… ARGH!! WHERE'S THE GOOD PART?!

The good part…

Finally, they had made it. With one last breath of effort Hermione raised the wand and threw it towards the ground. They all were watching joyously until…

_BOOSH!_

A whooshed up from the ground and fireball burnt it up.

"Frick!"

"I know all that work and…"

"No, WHY DIDN'T WE JUST APPARATE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"…"

When they returned to Hogwarts:

Dumbledore and Voldemort were still wrestling and Hagrid was taking bets.

"Professor! The wand was destroyed before we could stop the storm! What now?"

Dumbledore delivered a chokeslam and simply replied "Oh well there's always the countercurse! _Hocus Pocus_!"

The storm instantly stopped.

"Professor Dumbledore…"

"Yes Harry?"

"I am going to kill you…"

"Here we go again." shouted Snape (who was now sporting a hat to cover up his bald head, it was so shiny he could almost deflect curses with it)

"ARGHHHHHHHHHH"

And Harry, Ron, and Hermione chased Dumbledore out into the grounds.

They remained like that almost all day until the giant squid put an end to all the rubbish. Voldemort decided after all this he needed wizarding counseling, but wound up cursing his instructor. And so ends another happy story in the world of Harry Potter.

A year later, in the next book…

Harry looked down into the lake, and there lay the sword of Godric Gryffindor!

"_Accio _Sword!" he cried

_Swish._

_Thud._

The End


End file.
